Ramblings

Being strong……

I’ve clearly had this topic on my mind as first is a post I started a week or so ago then just below it is the post I wrote this evening……..both the start and the full piece were to good not to share and I chose to keep them together as one post so the next paragraph was start one on the topic and the the bold title starts take 2 of me typing out my thoughts…….

So life has thrown me all kinds of curveballs and obstacles, but I always have kept smiling and pushing forward. I’ve been told lately by several amazing people that I’m always a happy person, have a positive attitude and help motivate others. Despite everything I’ve been through I do I just keep a smile on my face and only a select few know my internal struggles.

One of The hardest things….

One of the hardest things as an adult, well even as a kid is being “the strong one and the happy one!”

I’ve always been labeled the strong one and the one who’s always happy no matter what life throws at me. While I know people mean this in a good way and a sign that I’ve got some good characteristics, it’s sometimes hard to hear too. It’s hard to hear when I’m fighting my internal demons, when I’m struggling to push through a situation no one knows about, when I don’t feel happy but have put on a smile to hide my pain!

The strong ones we need help too! I definitely don’t know how to ask for it and I usually will push that help aside, but deep down I also know I need it too!!!!! I need someone to be the strong one for me, to help me push forward, to help me see that I can stand up against the waves trying to knock me down. 

I’ve been faced with some situations I never imagined and battles I could have never guessed I’d fight. While I do push through and persevere and usually with a smile on my face, I know I’m not always as strong as people think I am. I fight my battles silently and alone, or mostly alone except a few very dear people who know my struggles. Though even those who know my struggles tend to not see me when I break down either. 

I know others have situations that are so much worse then the ones I’ve gone through too. They may even cover their pain with smiles bigger and brighter then mine. But we all have our ways of coping and to all those fighting battles be it with a smile on your face or tears rolling down your face remember there’s always someone in your corner whether you see them or not! 

Ramblings

Self care….

Sometimes self care is a never ending walk on the beach……well it’ll end eventually, but try to remember unless on a small island however far you walk one way you must walk back to get to your car!

Today I chose to walk…..walk and think and sit on a tree. Have I solved any of what’s floating in my head? No, but have I gotten some fresh air and sunshine and serious exercise? Yes! 

The beach can be an amazing change of scenery even in December especially in Georgia! It was cool temperatures to start, but now I’m hoodie off and enjoy the sound of the crashing waves! This morning I chose to get off my a$$ and go do something I’ve wanted to do for a while. Just walk the beach, this walk led me down a random path that took me through a beautiful swamp area and over a few bridges. Now that the tides gone out I’m walking the whole beach back to my car. Or I hope I am, because I’m not entirely sure at this moment if the tides out enough the whole way. But I stopped to write and just listen to the peacefulness of the waves. 

I’d hoped to clear my head a little and maybe I have or will, but I’ve definitely thought on some things. I feel good having gotten out and doing this. It’s out of my comfort zone to just go somewhere alone now. I have 3 kids I rarely am alone and honestly; I enjoy having company and sharing adventures with people. Today though I’m solo and I’m okay! 

I’m okay!!!!!